What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

Hmm.. Just read my buddy's blog and decided to draw on mine as well.
She just turned into 19 few days ago. Haha. From the day she started to blog I been reading all of the notes she posted. Slowly realised that, she is turning more mature and had gone through tough times. Glad that she is still the optimum girl that I used to know :) But... Some of her part is still the same. Haha.

She blogged almost everything as in, why she will feel happy out of sudden, why she will feel sad, what she wanted to achieve and what changes her perspective on things. And, compare to what I blogged, I am only writing negative stuff. :( Because I am very tired of being happy for the whole day in front of people? Or this is the real me, always being negative. When people around got turned down by obstacles, I will always be the one that cheer them up. However, I can not cheer up myself, I think is because not convincing enough? Is not like I do not want to share out the problem to people around me, is just that I fear I might be crying when I am telling out. :(

Today, I tried to tell Wei Nie that I am the kind of person that will not have long lasting friendship because when our surrounding factors changed (Eg. Classes) I will have no topic to talk with my previous best friend. Even we are very close to each other during this year. Hehe. I nearly cry out.

Then, when she tell me back how she can still able to manage her friendship with her friends, I feel very envy of them, to be honest. I am always the leader in the friendship group cause as always I am the one that ''hunting'' for friends at first. However, I do not have the ability to take the role of managing friendship. Maybe, I am born to be the ''hunter'' but not the manager :)

Very often, I am very afraid of myself, for being so inability in managing friendship. How will I survive in the society if I do not have friends that I trusted and is fixed around me? I do not know. Hoping to have changes in the future or relying on how Wei Nie will save me from there.

Wei Nie, at first I really do not like her, because she is too annoying and noisy sometimes. Then, from time to time, I become very adore of her talent in talking ( or to be more specific, kept on repeating what she telling to others ) Haha. You see, my little group have 6 persons,when we found out something interesting but some of them are not around she will kept on repeating diligently to others but her eyes were on mine like I am the one that doesn't know about it. Haha. Quite annoying for the beginning.

However, Haha, kinda interesting when she was doing that, I can participate by giving different facial expression at there, like for the first time she tell the joke to 2 of the members, I will Laugh-Out-Loud. Then, for the persons afterwards, I will not laugh but will act serious when she is trying to share the joke to others and this sometimes will add up the humour. Haha. Seriously!

Another thing that I do not like about her is always being ignore by her when I am trying to talk my opinion :( Things changed, after I had told her that I always got ignored by her, now turn into when I or any one of us wanna talk but we sounded at the same time, SOMETIMES, she will let us talk then only she take her turn. Haha. Still this situation is quite rare, Haha. Allowing us to talk before she finished her's. Never mind, we had already immune to that already especially myself. :D

I kinda like this girl as a friend, a very annoying, childish but at the same time mature when dealing with serious things, very yong shui. Hahaha. She will not have chance to read about this~

Leason : Annoying level upgraded, Hoping of changes.

Regards,
Leng

Here comes the once a month

I realised my posts are very regular. HAHA. Once a month. So, this is the ending of June, week 9 of my college semester. Nothing special has happen as how much I can flash back from previous. Is like, this few months ended in the blink of eyes.

Really, weird. What I do everyday is only sleep and sleep and SLEEP all over again. I do not understand how I did that, I am too tired struggle in college? Assignment? Tests? Sometimes even friendship is also one of the factors of exhausted. The only thing that can still can maintain my mental health is my husband :P.

I am in the middle of doing assignment and now i am typing on my blog. What nonsense right? I discover a new friendship. Although I do not really like her all the time but i am still sticking around with her.

That was what i typed last week i could not continue to finish that post because that time quite lots of people i know was around. I want to make my blog be secret~ Only certain people like you guys know about it. Keke~ <3
Know the reason i wanna kept this in secret? Cause I can type my gossips and complaint at here without caught by them. *Evil* True. I must learn to be good in managing my impression in front of some people, what not to show, what can be show.


Gossip renew
Nowadays the gossips are surrounding only that ONE. The one that i dislike at the beginning then, opinion changed to not bad then until recently turn into VERY BAD. Not very bad but just BAD. At the beginning, I do not really like the attitude of her, or i mean all the new members of friends that i discovered during the first semester of college. I GOT IGNORED QUITE FREQUENTLY BY THEM. Now, this thing does not matter already cause I already learnt to treat them back with the way they treat me *HOHO* But, i can not stand myself for doing that so frequent. SO. You know the result, I failed half succeed half.

Girls friendship can gain and loss very easily, unlike guys. Back to the ONE, when you are useful to them, you are friends, but when you are having some problems you know what will happen. After all, I can not put the blame on her cause they have the ability to make the choice. I do not know how I deal with that so easily when that incident happen and I am the one that advising others do not mind about her choice. And, now i am the one that still very concern about her, as in treating her differently i mean in not really friendly like old days. I do not treat the person good when I am very clear that HE/SHE will not help me when i am facing difficulties.

Story : The story is like this, Peg as the leader of this semester, borrowed a book for assignment purpose and she had lost the book. We attempted to find back the book, but failed, already asked around like people and school departments even cleaners. Then, fine, we took the book as already lost and can not be found. Here comes the thing, that book, was not used by some of the members (including her) and some like me only flipped through for once. Peg approached library to ask about the penalty and was informed the penalty will be charge DOUBLE which is about RM 150. Then, the boy friend of Peg, helped with RM50 and we as group members (excluding her) offered our help. After that,  we discussed how much we should contribute each of us and HAHA she say : " Huh? Why me? I did not even touched the book." This is so touching right? My another friend Ann, also did not touched the book and she also willing to pay for it. For me is like a responsibility of a group member as we also wrong for did not look after that book properly.

Morale of the story : Do not expect all of your friend will help. Realised that we are only the college-class-homework-assignment group members. HAHA.

Now the scratch on friendship is getting worse. How long we will stay as one? -_-
For me, the thing is should not be a BIG ISSUE. Still, why i am so concern about THAT?! Okay. Stop. This issue happen few months ago, YOU SHOULD LET GO. Why you so weird? Starting, alright, I respect your choice; later, this is not okay, you selfish D*ck!!

I am the combination of a arrow and a shield.